Baby bass biting Don Poole’s thumb. ~~ Photo by Robert “Children love me, women want me, fish fear me” Sutherland

Wondering what gift to get you-know-who?

Wonder no more, bucko.  I have the unsolicited, unpaid answer, even though it might look like a paid commercial.

Years ago, I didn’t know what to get my best friend for his birthday.  He didn’t need or want anything.  He had enough money to buy whatever he wanted without my help.

This unnamed friend, whose name rhymes with “Don Poole,” had this insufferable delusion that he was a great fisherman.

He wasn’t the worst, I guess.  After all, I was there when a small duck hit his bait.  Don slowly reeled him in.  Quietly leaned over the side of the boat and picked up the little critter — who was far more surprised than scared.  Don mercifully removed the hook, put the quacker back into Lake Lanier, said goodbye, and off he went.  The duck, not Don.  [Insert Donald Duck jokes here.]

When I figured out what to get him, the answer hit me like lightning (one bright flash followed by total darkness).  Hire a fishing guide and pretend it’s a gift for Don!

Did Don catch any fish?  Nope.  Did I?  Oh, yeah.  And I got the credit for giving Don a present.  How cool is that?

Know somebody who has everything and doesn’t need anything?  Take him (or her) fishing.  You might get the biggest fish too.

You have probably read Robert Eidson’s Lake Allatoona Fishing Reports.  Robert knows where the fish are and how to catch them.  A day on Allatoona with him will give you memories that will last a lifetime.

Especially if you catch more fish than the person you take fishing as your gift.